Rendezvous with the Autowala

When I was new in Bangalore I had not explored much of bus routes. On my 7th day here I had an interview and I got into an auto on my way back. Being super chatty I started a little chit chat with the autowala. I asked him how much did he earn driving his auto, was it enough and how was it going. He said it was going okay but he had bought auto on loan and he had not paid installment of 4K since two months and so he was planning to get married! I was surprised.. I said what does installment have to do with marriage? The answer was not at all surprising. He said if I get married my in-laws would pay for a grand marriage and all the installments and life would be so easy... I was shocked but I could not convince him that his thinking wasn't right.

I still do not understand why do we need to spend so much money in marriages. Din't they say "Marriages are made in heaven" :-/??? A big fat Indian wedding can be your dream but then doing it even if you can't afford it or if it burdens your parents is an insult to the relation made in heaven..

Even though I have convinced everyone I know that I want to have a court marriage still people around me have hope that my thoughts would change. Mother wants to see me in red saree, people say you get married only once and so should be grand!! Well why?? I have no idea :)

Do we really need such grand weddings? What are you views??  

The hit and run

Today is a happy day. I have almost managed to make a place myself at mDhil :) Read the JD its like a dream job!!

But happiness can be over-shadowed many times. While I was finding my way to the bus-stop,  I suddenly felt a blow on my back.  When I turned back I saw a middle aged man running and I knew it was him. I have pretty fast reflexes, trust me. I ran behind him. ( I am quite a runner ) Seeing me running behind him a couple of guys on bikes stopped. I had got a hold of him and had penetrated my nails into his head. (Nails, my weapon). By this time crowd gathered and people hit him a lot. I have no idea why did he do what he did. Though people were talking in Kannada I understood that he wasn't a mad guy living on road. He was dressed okay and I didn't even see him anywhere.

This is the second time I am sharing something like this and you might feel that only I go through such things..But well I know many women who go through the same without saying a word.

I have no idea how safe we are in this society. Everyday when we leave our house their is hope that we will come back safely and there is faith which keeps us going.. But sometimes I wonder how safe m I?  ..*pondering*

My hand is swollen because I have hit him a lot.. But it doesn't matter because I did...
But I wonder:
1.Why did he do that?
2.why me?
I will never know:)

Well before anyone comes to dressing I just wanna say I wear all kind of clothes but today I was wearing the Kurti from this photo ..

All I want to say is fight, fight till you are alive..If you don't fight you are already dead inside ..


Still there is #hope and #faith so Cheers to beautiful life !!

Please share your opinions!

Yes, thats me:)

Prostitues, AIDS and society

Many of us have blamed the prostitutes for spreading AIDS. Lately I saw a poster which said "She can be HOT and clueless but you don't have to be. Stop AIDS". I do not know what comes to your mind when you read this but there is just one thing which comes to my mind. Not a thing but a woman - Dolores French. She is a prostitute and she fought very hard for rights of other women like her.

The first thing which should come to one's mind is from where did these girls, ladies contracted the disease and second why are they doing what they are doing.

I won't say I have exact answer to this question but at least I have made efforts to find one.

First thing is the human trafficking, which is very high in our country. Girls are sold at the age of 4,5...13.14 and so on. The rate for virgin is high and yes there are people who sell their daughters, nieces and even wives. Unfortunately such men are amongst us and we do not even know them. So you can see this is where it starts.

Then there is a class of women who do it because they like it. I have read about women who stated that every women has right to charge for the pleasure she is giving to the men. But this ratio is very very low.

Now where does AIDS come from?

It is not always that a women is infected. There are men who want to have sex but are infected and cannot do it with the people who know them. Such men often turn to the working women and trick her into the whole thing. These women spread it unknowingly. By the time they realise they are infected its too late.

We as a society are not ready to accept such people forgetting that they too are human and they too have rights. I personally thought such things do not exist any more and that we live in a modern world but as I see the world around me, each day I realise there are many things which still need to change.

Understand and spread this message because we are responsible for our society!

Women have the power

incident dated 15 March 2011

Time 9:25 am

Today I was traveling to my office in a bus. A guy tried to touch me in a WRONG way! I kicked him to the ground. Hit him hard on the nose and have left marks of my nails on his face and back good enough to bleed. (Thanks to my long nails).. The guy would think twice before doing anything now on. He anyways did not disclose his name and profile but I don't care much I have played my role.

Anyways no one came to my help but I don't care I know how to tackle such incidents and people because I am brave enough and am a fighter.

Guys think they can get away with such things and they are actually proved right at many instances. But now is the time to prove them wrong.

This for all the girls - never feel weak, you have power within. Durga and Kali should be your role models when it comes  to such incidents. Depending on men or anyone else for this matter is not advisable. Act wise, after all its your life and you have to protect yourself.

Unquestioned traditions

Last evening as I was waiting for the bus I was articulating my next post which was supposed to be "Why shouldn't we ape the West". My thought process was clear and the post was on my mind just the way I wanted it to be. I was done for yesterday (1 post/day is enough I think) so I had decided to write it today. But something happened this morning and I have changed my subject. 


Before I start writing on my subject I want to say that I love wearing saree from time immemorial and I have been to many temples, some mosques, churchs, gurudwaras and deresars.


Yesterday I told my mother that I went to a Ganesha temple to have Prasad and she told me "I have heard that it is compulsory to wear saree or salwar suit in temples in south." This was quite surprising to me as I had not experienced this. This morning I came to know that for going inside some temples in kerela guys had to remove their shirts and girls have to be in saree or salwar suit. 


Now I do not want to be a rebel but I do not wear either of them on any given normal day and yes I am not going to visit any of such place on any given normal day as well. And of course I do not want to be a rebel but there is definitely something which I do not understand. Looking back I can see that :


1. No one is born in clothes.
2. Ancient humans did not have clothes.
3. Clothes came with evolution and the same goes with there designs.
4. In olden times women wore tube tops and sarong of today with a different names and this can be depicted from old sculptures.


I am sure many will be against my thoughts from here on. But if I get a perfectly right answer for my question I will agree against my own thoughts. 


If you believe in God then I suppose you believe that He is omnipresent and He is looking at you all the time- when you are dressed and when you are not. So what exactly are we trying to show by dress coding in temples ? IF you say that it is for maintaining respect then from whom? From fellow beings or God? If its about fellow beings then they are same as you are and if ir is God then we must know its him who created us (if you believe). 


In the end all want to say that I will go to a place at my will and I have written this because I felt like writing. If you agree I would like to know about it and if you disagree I would LOVE to hear from you.


Cheers to beautiful life.

Girls and nights

I have always wondered that who was the first one to come up with the following concepts:

• Girls should not go out alone at night.
• Girls should not go out at late night.
• Girls should not be seen with any guy at night.

... perhaps the list will go on and on ...

If I use my common sense then the first thought coming to my mind is that something bad happened and thus this was declared for safety of women. But if that was the case , was the solution right? That really was not the best solution for sure. If there was a culprit or a group of them, they should have been punished to death. If it was about an affair then it should have been taken as a fair thing because God created attractions. IF it was about infidelity, again there should have been some huge punishment. But how fair was it to make a rule for women and punishing them for what they have not done??


I know majority of people believe that a girl going out late is not a good sign. May be there are few who do not mind this but here we are talking about majority. Our society is an expert in tagging people for their acts and it is always up to the receptor to accept that tag or not. Even if a girl might not accept the tag she is forced to confront it in some way or the other by someone close or someone remotely related. 


What happened in past (or may be what did not happen) cannot be changed. But there is something we can change today. We can change the way we look at things. We can stop tagging people and we can learn to live our life for ourselves instead of poking our nose into others life. 


It is your life and if you have to think what will your neighbour think if you do certain thing then you are slave of your mentality. Set your self free and spread the message to set others free too.


We made rules which were not required to control things which were not in our hands leading to situations about which we have no idea. We need to retrospect. 

Community matrimony - My take

A couple of days back I saw an advertisement on tv. The ad was 'Parents see their daughter with a guy of another community and decide to find a guy of their own community and marry her with him'. How fair is this? On one hand we are saying that we are developing and on other hand we see such things in the society. The most important factors in marriage are love, happiness and understanding. It does not matter that to which community both belong as long as there is commitment. 

If you believe in mythology then you should understand that there was "Swayamwar" through which a girl was given right to choose her future husband. If you believe in Adam and Eve then well , there is no where mentioned anything about their marriage. If you believe in evolution then there is no trace of 'custom of marriage' if you look at sufficiently ancient time. 

Evolution gave rise to the various things including a class of people who wanted to rule. These were the people who made classes and divisions. Divide and rule is the best ever destruction tool after all. 


We should always remember that there was a time when everything was equal. Everyone is unique but still everyone is born in the same way. Union of two sexes leads to formation an individual and this is how life prospers. This creation was very natural. IF you believe in God then remember God created this with a reason and also remember God did not make the divisions of caste, creed and community, He created his children. Male and female and sexuality is our discovery/assumptions and we use it for ourselves. God never said who can have inclination towards whom.

If you do not believe in God than you should understand the simple logic of life. 


Coming back to the main topic. Community matrimony should not be forced. If one wants to follow it, it would be his/her choice. There is no point in publicizing the concept. 


There is lot of explanation for each and every point mentioned in this post and I will be covering them in forth coming posts. For now all I want to say is "Community matrimony" sends wrong message in a secular nation. We need to be free from such feelings because they too are venomous like corruption and this concept can spread poison in society.