Thursday, December 20, 2012

Don't get raped or don't rape?

Rage. Anger. Tears. Pain. Millions of thoughts forming a whirlpool. This is not just about Delhi gang rape. This is about every woman, every girl in our society. I believe the men who do this are psychologically challenged. We somewhere fail to understand that no one is safe. I’m sure every girl has a little story of harassment, abuse and more. We live in the world where it is fine to use abusive words (think of all those gaalis you use) but it is not okay to talk about reproductive system, safe sex and periods. Heck we live in a country where they want to call “Slut-walk” Besharmi morcha but they are ashamed of the word “slut” and still not ashamed enough to abuse a woman.

Someone is losing her life…This is the death of humanity!!  It is not that they couldn’t have gone to a prostitute if all the wanted was sex. It is not just sex it is more than that … cruel minds who feel the sense of satisfaction by harming someone. I have seen many hitters in my life. A guy who will just hit a girl and run away, has happened to me, to my friends, mother, aunts and well I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t faced such an ugly mind ever.

They are amongst us and we are letting them be free. When I see negative comments, when I see people blaming a girl’s clothes hitting that person with a metal rod (I know I shouldn’t say this but when this is the fact)!

I don’t expect that the system will change in a day. I don’t expect police to help us all. I don’t expect media will fight and win for the people. No one mostly cares, none from these. We need to care, we need to understand and we need to fight. Today, tomorrow and everyday.

Hang them. Kill them. Throw chemical on them. Do whatever.

I would be surprised if the rape victim doesn’t get justice but someone trying to kill the rapist does.
Alternatively let us be more open. Let’s talk sex, understand protection, periods and safety. Let us address the mental issues today. All these are the small steps for better tomorrow.

If she is dressed like a prostitute think of paying her not raping her!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Happy periods! Period.

I don't know how you feel about this topic but for me it is way too important to be ignored. Period.

Yes it is the time of the month again when I say, “Once a month I hate being a girl!” Trust me I’d a t-shirt with that caption.

Why do I think menses is a social issue:

·         Because most of the women in India still do not have access to sanitary napkins
Saying “menses” aloud is still a taboo
It is still surrounded by millions of blind beliefs

Inkchats guys have done an amazing job by bringing in affordable sanitary pads. I feel so sorry about the founder because his wife divorced him for this reason:

You must check out this video:

So why am I writing about this?

I’m in pain! Hell no, that is not the

When I was in class 6th my mother had explained me something about menses. She said, “It happens to girls, it happens once every month and when it happens you do not go to the temple and do not eat Prasad. Do not go in the store room and take out pickles by yourself. Etc etc.. ” All this time she referred it as “it” as if it was some forbidden word. Ah come on, menses aren’t Lord Voldemort!

Finally class 8 and they were here to haunt me at least once every month for all 4 days. It was a mixed feeling. My mind said “Why are you are girl?” My heart said “This means you can be a mother some day!” This heart-mind battle is still on.

I did follow everything that my mom told me for sometime but could never understood the logic, finally I googled it and decided not to follow such traditions, which were more or less baseless and  just to take rest.

Sometime back #Femalelogic was trending on twitter and someone (don’t want to reveal his name) tweeted

#Femalelogic>>They have no logic

And how right the guy was!

If we used logic you wouldn’t have born and the human race would have stopped right then and there with logic..because who wants to cut herself and bring out a football sized baby out of a hole smaller than a ping pong ball! Period.

There is a lot I would love to say but may be some other day J


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Rendezvous with the Autowala

When I was new in Bangalore I had not explored much of bus routes. On my 7th day here I had an interview and I got into an auto on my way back. Being super chatty I started a little chit chat with the autowala. I asked him how much did he earn driving his auto, was it enough and how was it going. He said it was going okay but he had bought auto on loan and he had not paid installment of 4K since two months and so he was planning to get married! I was surprised.. I said what does installment have to do with marriage? The answer was not at all surprising. He said if I get married my in-laws would pay for a grand marriage and all the installments and life would be so easy... I was shocked but I could not convince him that his thinking wasn't right.

I still do not understand why do we need to spend so much money in marriages. Din't they say "Marriages are made in heaven" :-/??? A big fat Indian wedding can be your dream but then doing it even if you can't afford it or if it burdens your parents is an insult to the relation made in heaven..

Even though I have convinced everyone I know that I want to have a court marriage still people around me have hope that my thoughts would change. Mother wants to see me in red saree, people say you get married only once and so should be grand!! Well why?? I have no idea :)

Do we really need such grand weddings? What are you views??  

Monday, May 14, 2012

The hit and run

Today is a happy day. I have almost managed to make a place myself at mDhil :) Read the JD its like a dream job!!

But happiness can be over-shadowed many times. While I was finding my way to the bus-stop,  I suddenly felt a blow on my back.  When I turned back I saw a middle aged man running and I knew it was him. I have pretty fast reflexes, trust me. I ran behind him. ( I am quite a runner ) Seeing me running behind him a couple of guys on bikes stopped. I had got a hold of him and had penetrated my nails into his head. (Nails, my weapon). By this time crowd gathered and people hit him a lot. I have no idea why did he do what he did. Though people were talking in Kannada I understood that he wasn't a mad guy living on road. He was dressed okay and I didn't even see him anywhere.

This is the second time I am sharing something like this and you might feel that only I go through such things..But well I know many women who go through the same without saying a word.

I have no idea how safe we are in this society. Everyday when we leave our house their is hope that we will come back safely and there is faith which keeps us going.. But sometimes I wonder how safe m I?  ..*pondering*

My hand is swollen because I have hit him a lot.. But it doesn't matter because I did...
But I wonder:
1.Why did he do that?
2.why me?
I will never know:)

Well before anyone comes to dressing I just wanna say I wear all kind of clothes but today I was wearing the Kurti from this photo ..

All I want to say is fight, fight till you are alive..If you don't fight you are already dead inside ..

Still there is #hope and #faith so Cheers to beautiful life !!

Please share your opinions!
Yes, thats me:)

Friday, December 2, 2011

Prostitues, AIDS and society

Many of us have blamed the prostitutes for spreading AIDS. Lately I saw a poster which said "She can be HOT and clueless but you don't have to be. Stop AIDS". I do not know what comes to your mind when you read this but there is just one thing which comes to my mind. Not a thing but a woman - Dolores French. She is a prostitute and she fought very hard for rights of other women like her.

The first thing which should come to one's mind is from where did these girls, ladies contracted the disease and second why are they doing what they are doing.

I won't say I have exact answer to this question but at least I have made efforts to find one.

First thing is the human trafficking, which is very high in our country. Girls are sold at the age of 4,5...13.14 and so on. The rate for virgin is high and yes there are people who sell their daughters, nieces and even wives. Unfortunately such men are amongst us and we do not even know them. So you can see this is where it starts.

Then there is a class of women who do it because they like it. I have read about women who stated that every women has right to charge for the pleasure she is giving to the men. But this ratio is very very low.

Now where does AIDS come from?

It is not always that a women is infected. There are men who want to have sex but are infected and cannot do it with the people who know them. Such men often turn to the working women and trick her into the whole thing. These women spread it unknowingly. By the time they realise they are infected its too late.

We as a society are not ready to accept such people forgetting that they too are human and they too have rights. I personally thought such things do not exist any more and that we live in a modern world but as I see the world around me, each day I realise there are many things which still need to change.

Understand and spread this message because we are responsible for our society!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Women have the power

incident dated 15 March 2011

Time 9:25 am

Today I was traveling to my office in a bus. A guy tried to touch me in a WRONG way! I kicked him to the ground. Hit him hard on the nose and have left marks of my nails on his face and back good enough to bleed. (Thanks to my long nails).. The guy would think twice before doing anything now on. He anyways did not disclose his name and profile but I don't care much I have played my role.

Anyways no one came to my help but I don't care I know how to tackle such incidents and people because I am brave enough and am a fighter.

Guys think they can get away with such things and they are actually proved right at many instances. But now is the time to prove them wrong.

This for all the girls - never feel weak, you have power within. Durga and Kali should be your role models when it comes  to such incidents. Depending on men or anyone else for this matter is not advisable. Act wise, after all its your life and you have to protect yourself.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Unquestioned traditions

Last evening as I was waiting for the bus I was articulating my next post which was supposed to be "Why shouldn't we ape the West". My thought process was clear and the post was on my mind just the way I wanted it to be. I was done for yesterday (1 post/day is enough I think) so I had decided to write it today. But something happened this morning and I have changed my subject. 

Before I start writing on my subject I want to say that I love wearing saree from time immemorial and I have been to many temples, some mosques, churchs, gurudwaras and deresars.

Yesterday I told my mother that I went to a Ganesha temple to have Prasad and she told me "I have heard that it is compulsory to wear saree or salwar suit in temples in south." This was quite surprising to me as I had not experienced this. This morning I came to know that for going inside some temples in kerela guys had to remove their shirts and girls have to be in saree or salwar suit. 

Now I do not want to be a rebel but I do not wear either of them on any given normal day and yes I am not going to visit any of such place on any given normal day as well. And of course I do not want to be a rebel but there is definitely something which I do not understand. Looking back I can see that :

1. No one is born in clothes.
2. Ancient humans did not have clothes.
3. Clothes came with evolution and the same goes with there designs.
4. In olden times women wore tube tops and sarong of today with a different names and this can be depicted from old sculptures.

I am sure many will be against my thoughts from here on. But if I get a perfectly right answer for my question I will agree against my own thoughts. 

If you believe in God then I suppose you believe that He is omnipresent and He is looking at you all the time- when you are dressed and when you are not. So what exactly are we trying to show by dress coding in temples ? IF you say that it is for maintaining respect then from whom? From fellow beings or God? If its about fellow beings then they are same as you are and if ir is God then we must know its him who created us (if you believe). 

In the end all want to say that I will go to a place at my will and I have written this because I felt like writing. If you agree I would like to know about it and if you disagree I would LOVE to hear from you.

Cheers to beautiful life.